Heart Touching Story

There once was a little boy who lived with his mother. They were very poor. The boy was very handsome and extremely smart. As he grew older, he became even more handsome and smarter. However, his mother always remained sad.

Once, the boy asked his mother, “Mother, why are you always sad?” Mother replied, “Son, a fortune teller once told me that whoever has teeth like yours will become very famous.” Then the boy asked, “Will you not like it if I become famous?”

“Oh my son! What kind of mother wouldn’t like it if her son became famous? I’m always sad because I keep thinking that you will forget me and leave me once you become famous.”

Upon hearing this, the boy started to cry. He stood there in front of his mother for a while and then ran out of the house. He picked up a rock from outside and smashed his front two teeth. He started to bleed from his mouth.

 
His mother ran out and was shocked to see what he had done. She asked, “Son! What did you do?” In reply, the boy held his mother’s hands and said, “Mother, if these teeth cause you pain and make you sad, I don’t want them. They are of no use to me. I don’t want to be famous with these teeth. I want to be famous by serving you, and through your blessings…”
My friends, this boy was none other than the "GREAT Aarya CHANAKYA".

Getting Child to Do His Work

Getting Child to Do His Work

Getting child to do his work at an early age will make him responsible. It will also help him to imbibe good manners. Read on to find tips for getting child to do his work.

Encouraging child to do his work is the most common argument families have. The reason why kids do not like doing their work is the same why adults do not like. That is, household chores are boring. You want your child to keep his room clean and well arranged, but he would reply, “I’ll do it later” sitting on the couch watching TV or playing games.

On the other hand, if children are encouraged to do chores at a very early age, they feel valued and complete tasks efficiently and quickly. Although, it is good to make your child do his work, but at the same time involving him in household activities will make him feel a part of the role of other members of the family.

Tips for Getting Child to His Work

Have a quick look at some tips for getting child to do his work.

Assign Chores at an Early Age - Assign chores to your child at an early age. When they are toddlers, ask them to pick their toys and dirty clothes to put in specific baskets.

Show How to Complete the Assigned Work - Show them how to complete the work assigned properly and efficiently. This will help them do it in a better and quicker way.

Teach Chores One By One - Only when you find that your child is able to perform one chore in a good way, teach and add another one. Remember, you are making him contribute and not feel overwhelmed.

Do Not Burden Your Child - Do not ask your child to do his work as apunishment. Encourage him to do any work by explaining it to him that he is helping you. This will develop an attitude of helping and sharing responsibilities in home.

Make the Chores Interesting - Change the chores from time to time. This will help your child learn new and more things and will also save him from getting bored.

Rewarding is Important - Reward your child after he completes his work efficiently. Seeing the drift, you can also make him manage and take fiscal responsibility.

Take Care of Child’s Safety - Take care of the safety of your child. So do not assign any work that may in any form harm him.

Importance of Doing Chores - Make your child understand the consequences of not doing the chores. Make sure you stay firm on your decision. If your child is postponing chores, stop everything and talk to him. Fixing time also persuades children complete work faster.

Tell your child that a specific assignment must get completed before play time. If he is stubborn, you should refuse to let him play until the work is completed. Just keep in mind that the consequences should be punishing for him. It should not make you more angry or frustrated. Analyse your attitude and mind-set towards doing hard work. Most often we do not realise, but children follow our approach towards work and life as well.

Children consider their parents as their role model. If you and your partner share the household responsibility, your children will follow suit. Ask your husband to share some work so that children get persuaded and motivated to do their work.

If there is any problem that is persisting, discuss it with your child. Always remember that you should focus on long term goals and teach the child to become self-motivated and take personal responsibility for the results of his decision. Just make your child understand that many important tasks in life are not pleasant. So, we need to do them as quickly as possible.

Make your Child a "Perfect Little Helper"

Make your Child a "Perfect Little Helper"

Children don't help

When parents look at a newborn baby cuddled in their arms, a feeling of protectiveness usually overwhelms them. They want to do everything possible to make their child happy and comfortable. As the years go by, the baby grows up, but parents tend to underestimate the capabilities of young children and continue to do things for them without expecting anything in return. Then one day, they wake up and decide it's time their children pitch in and are surprised when they are met with resistance. After years of having their parents pamper them, it comes as a rude shock to children that they're actually expected to pull their weight in the house. 

Megha Chatterjee says that she is tired of feeling like a slave to her children. "While I don't expect my children to do household work, I do think that they must learn to look after their own things. They shouldn't assume it's my job to pick up after them."
 

Catch them young

Doing chores gives children a sense of responsibility, teaches them cooperation and involves them in family life. The sooner parents give their children age-appropriate responsibility the better. Parents can slowly increase the difficulties of the task and their expectations depending on the maturity of the child. Two- and three-year olds love to help as it gives them a feeling of being in control. At this age they think it is great fun to be entrusted with any tasks and view them as a challenge. Parents should give children this age responsibilities such as: picking up their toys, choosing their own clothes, helping in brushing their hair, washing their hands and face, etc. 

Sometimes when a three-year-old is trying to help, he can create even more work for the parent. In such cases, parents often become impatient and take over, doing the task themselves. This only serves to discourage the toddler from "helping." Parents need to be tolerant and ask their children to help when they have the time and the patience to put up with a little hindrance. In addition, they should make sure that the tasks assigned should be within the child's capabilities so that the child will feel a sense of accomplishment.
 

Older children are less cooperative

As children get older, they are less likely to be cooperative when it comes to chores. Lata Srinivasan complains, "My children don't lift a finger to help around the house. They think that the housework is done by magic. Every time I ask them to do something they complain or act like they're doing me a big favour."

Faced with a young child who is refusing to do a task assigned to him, parentshave a tendency to get exasperated and tell him that he is excused this time. However, when parents do this, they defeat the whole purpose of trying to inculcate a sense of responsibility in their child as they are giving him the message that it is all right not to do his chores if he doesn't feel like.
 

How to make your child pitch in

• Make a list of all the chores your child can do and let her pick the ones she would like to do. Then make a weekly chart showing what chores she must do on each day of the week. 


• Do not assume that your child knows how to do what is expected. Take a little time out to teach her.


• Abandon any perfectionist tendencies. Compliment her on her efforts and rectify any mistakes in her absence. 


• Check to see that each task has been properly performed. 


• The schedule of chores should not be rigid. Take time out to play with the child, show your appreciation and affection. The chores will not seem like drudgery then. In addition, allow the child a little flexibility in his routine. 


• Do not bribe or pay your child for doing routine chores. 

Your child will start by being a "perfect little helper" to an able and responsible adult.  Who would have thought that just teaching children to help you is actually helping them in the long run!

Helping Your Child to do His Homework

Helping Your Child to do His Homework

Is homework time a battle in your home? However, helping your child to do his homework is like winning half the battle. Here are some tips to ensure your child completes his homework everyday.

Everyday, Nikita has to force her son Akshay to do his homework. She has to check his school books to see what his assignments are. Then, she has to cajole or threaten him to get him started. "Akshay does not get that much homeworkbut if I do not check his books, he will just leave everything pending", she says. Nikita wishes there was some way to make sure that her son did his homework, without having to be pushed.

There's something about homework that makes children turn away, and drives parents crazy. Children will try to do whatever they can to avoid doing theirassignments. However, helping your child to do his daily homework need not be such a tiresome affair. It just requires a little planning.

The Right Attitude

The key to avoiding homework headaches is to cultivate a good attitude towards it. Parents often view homework as an inconvenience. This leads to children who also think that homework is a waste of time. You need to make him understand that his homework is important for him to improve his learning skills. If your child knows that you care about his education, he is more likely to do his homework.

Have a Definite Time

Your child will find it easier to do his homework if he has a specific time schedulefor it. If your child knows that his homework time is approaching, he can mentally prepare himself. Make homework a part of your child's daily activities. The timeyou choose should also depend on your child. For example, one child may concentrate better in the late afternoon while another may be more comfortable in the evening. Avoid having your child do his homework after dinner or late at night. Your child will usually be tired at this time and will not be able to focus on hishomework.

Choose a Particular Place

While the right frame of mind is important to get started, having a dedicated place to study helps as well. Your child's study area should ideally be a quiet place, with good lighting. If possible, try to get your child a desk of his own. A study area does not always have to be in the bedroom. Some children may be quite content to sit at the dining table or in one section of the living room. Any place is fine as long as it works for your child.

Once your child has decided upon his study place, he can personalise it a bit. For example, he can put up a few of his paintings on the walls. He can also make a holder to keep his pens, pencils, erasers, etc. These can help to make his study area look more inviting.

Prevent Distractions

The next step to helping your child focus is to make a note of potentialdistractions and devise ways to deal with them. Younger children will most likely be distracted by the television while older children may have to deal with phone calls. If your child is studying in the same room as the television, make sure it is switched off during homework time. If your child's friends call up, politely explain that your child cannot come to the phone right now, unless it is related to an assignment.

Music is another potential distraction. However, this will again depend on your child. Some children find it easier to concentrate on their studies if there is some soft music playing in the background. On the other hand, rock music is likely to disrupt his concentration. Allowing your child to listen to music while he is studying should be at your discretion.

Homework helps to reinforce what your child learns at school. Therefore, it is an important part of his education. If your child does his homework regularly, you will also start noticing an improvement in his performance at school.

Teach Your Children Manners

Teach Your Children Manners

Does your child have good manners?

Table manners

Teach your child to close his mouth when chewing his food, and teach this to him at the outset because once your child gets into the habit of chewing food with his mouth open, it may be a hard habit to break. When a person chews food with his mouth open, it speaks volumes about his upbringing - or, more specifically, his lack thereof.

Teach your child to eat his food with a knife and a fork. Surprising though it may be, there are still grown-ups who are fairly inept at using a knife and fork. The reason for this is perfectly understandable. Indian food often doesn't require the use of any cutlery, and one can get by even without using a spoon. But, your child will not be eating only Indian food for the rest of his life. Chances are that he may very well be invited to a restaurant serving international cuisine, where he may be required to use a knife and a fork, and any unease will show through. To avoid him facing such a situation, serve food that he can eat with a knife and a fork, so he gets a little practice.

Before taking the last bit or last piece of something that has been served, always ask if someone else would like it. No one would really take the last bit from you, but it is considered polite to ask. At the most, someone may like a small bite from your portion.

Cell-phone etiquette

Put your cell phone on silent when you enter a movie. If you like, let the vibrator stay on, so if your cell phone rings, you can see who is calling. Accordingly, you can quickly let the person know you will call back, or you can leave the hall and take the call. Letting your cell phone ring in a cinema hall during a movie, is rude.

Similarly, don't speak loudly at a restaurant on your cell phone. People on the other tables are not interested in hearing your conversation.

Manners while travelling

When your children are travelling by public transport, teach them to give up their seat to elders, disabled people, pregnant women or women holding babies in their arms. Also, although men don't necessarily have to give up their seat to young women, doing so is simply a charming, gentlemanly thing to do and evokes positive feelings - which is always welcome in today's rushed world.

Dealing with service staff

People often tend to be rude and short with those serving them, with no apparent reason. Just because someone is being paid a salary to provide a service to you, does not mean they are your personal slaves. The next time you go to a restaurant, set an example to your children by being courteous to the waiter. If your children are a little short, correct them as soon as the person serving them has left. Shouting and yelling at someone serving you makes everyone uncomfortable. True, there are certain instances where you are justified, but try and put your point across courteously and politely, without personally insulting anyone.

Basic Manners for Children

Basic Manners for Children

All children need to be taught their manners. Here are some manners that every child should learn.

Have you ever visited someone's home and come away feeling disgusted by thebehaviour of the children there? While it is true that no one is perfect, children are expected to conform to certain behavioural norms. For example, greeting guests and not interrupting an ongoing conversation between two adults are rules that every child must follow, no matter how old he is.

In today's world, it is easy to send your child for etiquette classes. There he will learn how to carry on a conversation, which cutlery to use for certain foods, and a whole host of other social skills. However, teaching your child his manners is a task that should begin at home.

Manners are Important

Society is such that an individual is judged on the basis of his social skills.Manners play a big role in social behaviour. They influence people's perceptions and behaviour towards an individual. Good manners indicate a good upbringing and are a mark of good breeding.

Each set of circumstances has its own accepted manners. However, all mannersare based on the same principal; that is consideration for other people and being mindful of their feelings. In each scenario, there are three main criteria to determine if an individual has good manners. These are diplomacy, hospitality, and tact.

Teach Children when they are Young

Teaching a child how to behave should begin from the time your child is able to speak. A few basic manners are listed below.

Waiting his turn: If you are busy speaking to someone else and your child wants to speak to you, he should wait quietly, until you have finished your conversation. If your child interrupts you, explain to him that you are busy and ask him to wait. If he persists, tell him that when many people speak at the same time, no one can be understood.

If your child is waiting to speak to you, reach out your hand to touch him and let him know you are aware of his presence. When you do listen to him, give him your complete attention. This will teach your child that waiting to speak to you ensures you will not be distracted when his turn comes.

Greeting people: Teach your child to greet a visitor to your home. When he is young, your child need not shake hands with a visitor. A simple 'hello' will suffice. A child older than five can be taught to shake an adult's hand while greeting him. Although this is a typical Western form of greeting someone, it is also accepted in India. Even if he is shy around people he is meeting for the first time, he should still greet them politely to make them feel welcome.

The same greeting behaviour should be followed when he visits someone's home. Have your child greet every member of the household. How a person is greeted will sometimes depend on the level of formality you follow. In most Indian households, he would be expected to touch the feet of the adults, as a mark of respect. Make sure you teach your child the different forms of greeting people. Also, guide him on the method to use in each situation.

Saying 'please' and 'thank you': If your child is asking for something, he should always say please. If he forgets, have him repeat his request again and remind him that he forgot to say please. Explain to him that when he asks for something without saying please, it appears like a demand, rather than a request.

Your child should always thank a person when he receives a gift from someone and when someone complies with his request. He should say thank you even when someone compliments him for any reason.

Teach your child manners using positive reinforcement techniques. Praise your child when he does something right. If he makes a mistake, gently explain to him why he is wrong and show him the correct way to act. Remember though, thatmanners cannot be learned in a single day. You will need to keep reminding your child about them. This will ensure that he grows up into a charming, well-mannered adult.

Shopping with Kids

Shopping with Kids Do you take your child with you on errands, ignore her when she gets bored and tired, and then wonder what brought on that temper tantrum? Read on. Parents often take their children along with them when going shopping. If you take your child with you to the supermarket, what do you do when she gets tired and wants to get back home? Parents often ignore their child's repeated requests and carry on with their shopping. If this is what you do, your child, who is completely dependent on you, sees herself as stuck. There is no way she can get out of this situation on her own, and this leads to frustration. Don't be surprised if you see atemper tantrum arising. Although the fault is by no means yours, it is not your child's either. Some children can happily accompany their parents on errands without feeling restless, while others start getting restless before you have had the time to put your first item in the cart! Anticipate your child's behaviour and act accordingly. If your child is happy on her own and can amuse herself by looking at passers by and the shelves stacked with goodies, there's little you need to do. If your child has less patience, here are some tips. Toys Carry one of your child's favourite toys with you when you go shopping. Give it to her as soon as she starts showing signs of being restless. She will be able to amuse herself with her toy for some more time. Treat Get your child a little treat if you see that she is losing patience. Do this before she starts throwing a temper tantrum. You don't want to reinforce her tantrum by rewarding her, or you will see many more. Attention When your child gets restless, don't ignore her. Take a five-minute break from your shopping to talk to her and give her your attention. Let her know you need to pick up a few more items and will be done soon. Give her a definite time frame so she can keep a lookout on the watch. Do abide by the deadline. Also, this would be a good time to ask her if she would like to eat an ice cream, and give her a little treat. Entertainment Try and make the trip as entertaining for your child as possible. Do remember that while you have a list of chores to complete, your child is simply hanging around with you and is likely to get bored. If you are in a supermarket, put your little toddler in the cart and wheel her around. Also, keep asking for her opinion everynow and again, especially when shopping for items for her. What brand of soap does she want? What shampoo would she like? Giving her choices at every step and respecting her selections will also give her the confidence to make snappy decisions in the future. Help Get your child to help you. She could pick out items from shelves within reach and place them in the cart. When checking out, she could also help you pick out items and place them on the counter. You could also get her to help you push the cart. Safety tip: Make sure at no time does she stray out of your sight.

Five Reasons Not to Hit Your Kids

Five Reasons Not to Hit Your Kids

Do you hit your children? Priyanka offers 5 reasons you should refrain from corporal punishment.

1. Hitting children teaches them to become hitters themselves. Virtually all of the most dangerous criminals were regularly threatened and punished in childhood. It is nature's plan that children learn attitudes and behaviors through observation and imitation of their parents' actions, for good or ill. Thus it is the responsibility of parents to set an example of empathy and wisdom.
   
2. In many cases of so-called "bad behavior", the child is simply responding in the only way he can, given his age and experience, to neglect of basic needs. Among these needs are: proper sleep and nutrition, treatment of hidden allergy, fresh air, exercise, and sufficient freedom to explore the world around him. But his greatest need is for his parents' undivided attention. In these busy times, few children receive sufficient time and attention from their parents, who are often too distracted by their own problems and worries to treat their children with patience and empathy. It is surely wrong and unfair to punish a child for responding in a natural way to having important needs neglected. For this reason, punishment is not only ineffective in the long run, it is also clearly unjust.
   
3. Punishment distracts the child from learning how to resolve conflict in an effective and humane way. "When we make a child afraid, we stop learning dead in its tracks." A punished child becomes preoccupied with feelings of anger and fantasies of revenge, and is thus deprived of the opportunity to learn more effective methods of solving the problem at hand. Thus, a punished child learns little about how to handle or prevent similar situations in the future.
   
4. "Spare the rod and spoil the child". While the "rod" is mentioned many times in the Bible, it is only in the Book of Proverbs that this word is used in connection with parenting. The book of Proverbs is attributed to Solomon, an extremely cruel man whose harsh methods of discipline led his own son, Rehoboam, to become a tyrannical and oppressive dictator who only narrowly escaped being stoned to death for his cruelty. In the Bible there is no support for harsh discipline outside of Solomon's Proverbs. By contrast, the writings in the Gospels, the most important books in the Bible for Christians, contain the teachings of Jesus Christ, who urged mercy, forgiveness, humility, and non-violence. Jesus sawchildren as being close to God, and urged love, never punishment.
   
5. Punishment interferes with the bond between parent and child, as it is not human nature to feel loving toward someone who hurts us. The true spirit of cooperation which every parent desires can arise only through a strong bond based on mutual feelings of love and respect. Punishment, even when it appears to work, can produce only superficially good behavior based on fear, which can only take place until the child is old enough to resist. In contrast, cooperation based on respect will last permanently, bringing many years of mutual happiness as the child and parent grow older.